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 Yuyu's Cancer DiaryNovember 22, 2008
Thank you all for enocuraging comments on my last post. I love this place, I feel so connected with everyone. Especially for someone like me who don’t have family here, I feel like this is my family on internet. Thank you so much, Jill, for this great place. Yes, I feel comfortable with going along with my oncologist’s plan to continue with chemo. I know there is no right or wrong answer (contuing with chemo vs. surgery now). But, my oncologist’s view on continuing with chemo to futhter shrink the mass and hopefully not doing chemo after surgery sounds most sensible to me. One another argument was that surgery usually takes a lot of time to heal, and it is possible my cancer to spread while healing form surgery (knowing my cancer is very aggressive). So, having a surgery now may not be the best thing to do. I am feeling pretty confident with my treatment at my current clinic for now. I was never treated at big hopistals like Cerdars or UCLA, so I don’t know exactly how it is like. But, I think one of the advantages of smaller clinics/hospitals like the one I go to is that everyone and everything is a little more accessible. Yeah, a dingy small chemo room is a bummer, but all the nurses and staff know me by my first name and are very flexible with scheduing my appointments. They are always on top on remembering how my treatment has been going and see if any changes should be made. Doctors are flexible as well, and they even come to the chemo room to check on patients. Anyway, so here I am completely awake in bed browsing internet at 5AM on Saturday morning thanks to super dose Decadron! I have noticed the pattern already, I get hyper and sleepless on every Friday night after my treatment ever since I started my weekly treatment. And, the whole weekend usually ends up me being very emotional in swinging mood, from being extremely talkative & elated to feeling pessimisic & irritable. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has been kindly tolerating my emotional swings every weekend. I am so happy I finished my last weekly Taxol + Herceptin yesterday! That means no more super dose Decadron every week! Yay! To celebrate my half way done with my chemo, my boyfriend and I are going to take a day-trip to Calico Ghost Town today. I am excited to enjoy a little getaway from eveything since I have not gone anywhere outside of my area ever since I got diagnosed. P.S. A little victory with my employment termination issue. After numerous exchanges of letters and documents with my past employer who fired me, my lawyer helped me have my employment status reinstated and unpaid medical leave granted by the company. The company was really nasty with these letters, too. But, they finally seemed to come to the sense that what they did was against American with Disabilities Act. I am questioning, however, if I really want to go back working for this company who heatlessly and with no hesitation fired a good worker who asked for accomodations due to cancer treatment. I was and have beel affected emotionally by their action. The company is a biggest mental health clinic in the area advertising themselve as helping people in need and moving their lives forward. What a joke…
Posted on November 22, 2008 at 6:18:43 AM by Yuyu (
 Sleepless in L.A..... Thanks to Decadron!,  12 comments)
November 19, 2008
I have been sick from chemo for last few days. Boy, it sure does gets harder every time. I was in bed for full two days just sleeping away. I’m feeling better today and back here on the blog catching up with everyone’s posts :) I am happy that I am one treatment away from finishing my first half of my chemo plan. I will be done with Taxol + Herceptin treatment this Friday! My tumor seems to continue to shrink a little by little, which is very encouraging and motivating. I spoke with my oncologist after seeking a second opinion from the Cedars-Sinai oncologist. My oncologist disagrees with my 2nd opinion doctor and feels that I should continue with my chemo to further shrink the tumor instead of having a surgery now. She said it is better to shrink the tumor as much as possible to ensure the success of surgery. She also feels that it is better to continue with chemo so that I may not have to do chemo after surgery, but just radiation. Since my tumor is starting to shrink, I am going with my oncologist’s plan to continue with chemo. I will be done with Taxol + Herceptin this week, then, I will have a week break. On the first week of December, I will start FEC every three week for 4 rounds + weekly Herceptin. If everything goes all right, I will be done with chemo by the end of February. My friend is organizing a charity concert for me. The concert will be held on Sunday 11/30. If you live in L.A. area and like classical music, please come and join us! The detailed info will be on my homepage. I hope everyone is being excited about Thanksgiving holiday! Yuyu Hi Yuyu, Sorry you were feeling bad but glad you are feeling better now. Yep, chemo sucks! I know it’s hard to know what is the right thing to do, but it sounds like you’ve decided to go with your oncologist advice. That is what I would do, UNLESS I had very strong “feelings” against it. Meaning if I had strong gut feelings that it wasn’t the right thing to do, then I might hesitate to just go along with it. I think it was good that you got a second opinion and I’m hoping that it made you feel better about things. Hang in there girl . . . you are making progress! Hugs, Hi Yuyu, So glad your tumor is shrinking. That’s a good indication to keep on with your chemotherapy and I am glad that is what you are going to do. Wouldn’t it be great if the chemotherapy just shrinks that ole tumor away! smile Love, hugs and prayers, sweete2 better known as Ethel Craven-Sweet Hi Yuyu good to hear from you. So sorry you have been sick. But I’m glad you are feeling comfortable with your treatment plan now, as others have said, it’s so important to go with your gut feelings. I am hoping all of us have a good Thanksgiving! Mine will be better than last year that’s for sure. And by next year this time, just think how much farther along you will be! I believe in listening to both kinds of music. Country and Western. That being said I am sorry to report that I am 2500 miles from LA so I won’t even be able to sit on the porch and listen. (insert big sloppy tears…....OF JOY!) Sorry kid classical music sounds like somebody strangling a cat. But I am really happy you are feeling better and I hope your benefit is HUGE. God bless i’m happy your feeling better. yes chemo will do that to u. but u stand up and kick cancers ass! cant wait to hear from you again..keep the good news coming! lots of love your way xoxo Chemo is really rough, but better days are ahead. You have been blessed! That tumor is shrinking away. Hi YuYu; I should be in town on the 30th, hopefully I’ll be feeling up to the drive to LA. Actually, I just looked up directions and it’s only a few miles from City of Hope where I’ve been going for my treatments for the last two years. Otherwise, I’m glad to hear you’re doing (moderately) well and that the tumor is still shrinking! Great News YuYu! So glad you are feeling better and that your tumor is shrinking. And I also agree with one of the other bloggers…go with your GUT! I can’t even think of one time that my gut every steered me wrong, but countless times I hadn’t listened to it….ie…like when I was having symptoms of ca and didn’t get it checked out…..and so wishing that I had…..sending great happy healing Rasta vibes your way…man I wish I was close to LA, I’m in Berkeley….have a great Thanksgiving….you’re almost home free girl! Yuyu, You’re almost doe with the chemo and that’s great. I have 9 more rounds to go until surgery. Stay strong. Happy Holidays Dear Yuyu, I’m so, so, SO glad to hear that your tumor is still shrinking. I’m also glad to hear that you seem to feel more confident in making decisions about your treatment, now that you’ve gotten the second opinion. It’s so important to feel that you are making the best decision you can. I hope things continue to go well for you. Stay strong! Peace, Yuyu,
November 14, 2008
I have been pretty hopeful about my treatment this week. First of all, my breast tumor seems started shrinking away in last 5-6 days right after my 4th treatment with Taxol and Herceptin! It is rather dramatic since the tumor was hard as a rock last week, and now it is much softer and smaller. I think weekly Taxol + Herceptin is finally kicking in. I am also encouraged since I finally went in for a second opinion from a prominent oncologist at Cedars-Sinai. I got encouraging responses from this doctor. To sum it up, this doctor thinks my cancer is curable with a right combination of chemo and a surgery. It is just taking some time to find that combination, but he said that the current regimen (Taxol & Herception) seems to finaly be working. He thinks it is better for me to continue with this combo for a few more rounds, instead of going on to new combo as my own oncologist suggests. He also thinks that I, at this point, am a good candidate for a surgery (mastectomy) if I am not going for breast conserving surgery (at this point, I don’t want to save my breast, I want to have mastectomies). He said my tumor is completely operable with a big chance of having “clean margins”. I love that idea since I can’t stand continuing with pre-surgery chemo until February, it’s such a long time! Hey, if they can take it out now, let’s do it! Another positive that came out of a visit to this Dr at Cedars-Sinai is that he confirmed me that my own oncologist is on a right track with my treatment. He said his theoretical approach is a little different from my oncologist, but my oncologist is doing exactly along the protocol of her particular theoretical approach she studied on (Good to know she knows what she is doing). He was actually imppressed with my oncologist who appears to have extensive knowledge of most current research and treatment protocol and has applied these on my treatment. What a piece of mind for me to hear that! The visit to this doctor was very informal and productive, and most of all, relieving to know I am getting good treatment from my oncologist. So, I don’t think I will be changing my doctor at this point, but will definitely talk to her about havng a surgery sooner!
Posted on November 14, 2008 at 7:50:46 AM by Yuyu (
OK, maybe I am not changing my doctor after all, but..., 12 comments)
I am sooo happy to hear this news! I am so relieved for you…I can just imagine how you must feel! =) Love, Hi Yuyu, You, sound so upbeat! I’m glad you are getting good news! I am so hoping that you will be completely cured. Please let us know if / when you are going to have surgery so we can send extra healing thoughts your way. What a blessing. Dear Yuyu, I’m so happy to hear all this good news, it’s bringing tears to my eyes! How wonderful for you! I think the best is that you can feel good about the doc you have and that you can trust that she’s doing the right thing (as your shrinking tumor will attest!). Yay! Keep us up to date on what’s going on and take care of yourself! Peace, I happy to hear that you are going to receive the care that is right for you. Hug sherri We will survive this together! Great News! Such great news. What a relief for you. You sound strong. Keep being in charge of your treatment it gives you that strength. I am so happy for you. I pray you get that nastiness cut out soon! Yuyu, Hang in there girlie! Hugs, Sounds like good news all the way around. The cancer really seems to be reacting to the treatment. Keep up the good work. All the best, Yuyu, Thanks for the support. I have a pictures of my dog Forrest on my blog. He is a Basinji. I’m taking him to a specialst to see what they can do. I hate cancer too! YuYu, Dear YuYu; Well that is a relief to hear of the 2nd opinion from such a renowned hospital as Cedars Sinai. I see what your dilemas was, and considering there have been a few on this blog who sought another opinion, to reassure themselves of their own present treatment, I am pleased your worries have been put to rest somewhat. It seems the modern thing to do, get more opinions, and usually it makes sense to do that. I am very happy your Oncologist who is treating you now, is doing the right programme. Also it seems you just want the surgery done quickly, but there may be reasons why they want you to finish treatment first, before putting you through such surgery. In either case, it all sounds encouraging. I pray that you make the rest of your treatments without too much in the way of side effects. I’m sure the surgery will come sooner than you think in terms of your body strength. What is clear is that you have a good team, working for you and if at any time you needed to make the change you know where to go. God bless you YuYu, you are a pillar of strength.
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Yuyu's Cancer Diary (37)
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Stacey 
Thanks for your support -
Hey Girl..
Man I must have missed your post about your employer…..at the lowest point in your life some people STILL have to give you grief…those people SUCK. I remember when I was sick an ex-family member was not only not supportive, but actually implied that I was “milking” my CA for sympathy! No JOKE! So keep your head up and spirits free, cuz you my friend are going to make it and will be looking back in 4 yrs(thats where I am now) and be strong and healthy again. Take care YuYU and stay RASTA!
Sharon
I am sure glad you took action against your employer… Very happy of the out come.
Cheryl
Yuyu: I, too, have been finding lots of support already. You sound like you will do well. I’m glad you went after your employer and won. Keep being happy…I hear that’s a very important part of recuperation. Anita
You did the right thing, companies must know that they can’t just throw us away like yeasterdays garbage. You should strive to return and do the best you can.
Regards,
EyeCandy (Paul)
Yuyu,
I am so glad you are getting away for the day. A ghost town – how neat is that! Do tell if you meet any spirits!
Also glad to hear you won the work battle. I know what you mean about going back to work for them though, but don’t worry about that now.
Sonia
Dear YuYu; You must have just finished roaming the ghost town and enjoying a lovely cup of something. What fun to do a day trip that wouldn’t be on a normal schedule. I love fantisizing about the spiritworld. I only hope you got some excitement over it.
Your past company is now on the defense side of things so that is probably what you wanted. They had to come clean and for that it was worth it, I think. About returning, do you have a coworker that is still there you trust? Perhaps you should try and seek some advice about returning, since you might be put into a difficult situation. Would you have the same boss? Many questions to ask before jumping back in. If your status is changed but you decide not to go back, can you get a letter of reference in exchange? That would go a long way, if you decided to look elsewhere. For now though you should concentrate on just feeling better. So many congrats on your half way mark. Maybe you will finally get a normal sleep pattern going, having stopped that hyper drug thing.
Always great to hear your updates.
Take care friend. P.S. I agree, about the website. It is family.
Weezie
Wow! I sure had a lot to catch up on with you!
Its so nice that you were able to get that second opinion, and that you are now confident in your treatment plan. It must be so relieving to feel the tumor shrinking!
You benefit concert sounds wonderful. I wish I could be there.
It sounds like you’re doing good. Congrats on the halfway mark!
Hi gal I am glad that the company did the right thing. You may have made it easier for others to help getting what is right.
Hug Sherri
Yuyu,
So much good news! What a blessing. I sure understand the decadron shuffle. I used to get my house cleaned while staying awake all night. I am glad you are done with that. Half way is worth celebrating. A ghost town or anyplace at all that is away from the madness would be fun. It is important to get away and clear your mind of the worry. Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy. I am so happy about your employment situation. We all know what they did was wrong, and yes you will have made a difference in many people’s lives who follow you with their own health situations. You will have become a hero (maybe unsung).
And Yup, we are indeed family.
Yuyu,
I can relate to your experience with decadron except mine is every 3 weeks not every weekend. I can’t imagine every weekend.
Good job getting after your employer. You go girl!
Daria
Yuyu,
I haven’t beenale to sleep much since my last chemo on Wednesday. I hate these chemo drugs. Every muscle in my chest hurts, my arms and leg muscles hurt and I keep waking up at night from the hot flashes. I wake up drenched. I can’t go back to sleep. I can’t concentrate on anything. I just want to scream.
We just have to get through this soon and get back to living!
Sonia
Hi Yuyu,
I just finished reading your blog and I gotta tell ya: What a fighter you are! You go, girl!
Especially what you had to go through with your job is so unfair and my heart breaks for all the hardship it has caused you! I can understand that you are apprehensive about going back there after your treatment but I would say, even if you don’t, you at least get to leave on your own terms now and won’t be in that sticky situation if a new employer asks you whether you have ever been fired from a job.
So, i am cheering for ya!
Annie