Yuyu's Cancer Diary
October 8, 2008
| Fired for the first time in my life | Views: 807 |
I found out today that I am fired from my work after I asked for leave of absence last week. They said they can’t afford to wait for me to come back. Instead of giving me an option to resign (gracefully) or looking into some other arrangements, they fired me. I never got fired from work in my life. I am pissed, to say the least. Ironically, this employer is a biggest non-profit mental health organization in the area that emphasizes helping needy people in community and improving quality of lives. Yet, they are not shy about firing a good employee who has cancer and needing time for treatment. I guess this is the reality, the world is coldhearted especially in this economy.
Other than that, I am doing okay this week. Just having lots of time on my hand since I don’t work anymore. I think my job was a distractor and I have been in denial about my illness. I kept myself super busy so that I don’t have to fully accept my situation.
Anyway, I have been trying to get myself out of my apartment this week everyday by going to support groups and signing up for different activities at cancer support centers. I am lucky I live in L.A. area, there are many support centers and organizations that offer groups, classes, and workshops for cancer patients. And, they are all free! They have knitting classes, Reiki and energy work, Yoga, etc. I know I have to keep myself going with activities and meeting other people, or else, I can easily be isolated and depressed living alone. Now I know when people talk about the hardship of living alone and having cancer. It can be lonelisome and scary at times.
By the way, how do you all deal with fear? I often find myself overwhelmed with fears. I fear that my cancer keeps growing, I fear that cancer is metastasizing, I fear that I am not getting good treatment, I fear that I will run out of money, I fear that I am going to die, I fear that my parents will be devasted if I die, my worries and fears can keep going and going and interfere with my sleep. Every little pain and discomfort in my body makes me worried that it is a sign my cancer is invading.
Stacey 
Thanks for your support -
Yuyu – I can’t believe they fired you. I think that is illegal.
http://www.canceradvocacy.org/resources/publications/employment.pdf
Thank you for resources, Jill. I also feel that it is unfair for them to fire me like this. I want to fight it, but honestly, I don’t have energy to go through legal process. But, I did contacted legal organization that deals with cancer patients, hopefully they will direct me into right directions to complain about this.
Yuyu
Yuyu,
I am so sorry to hear about your job. I do hope someone does something about this legally . . . it is a crying shame that they fired you . . . seems like there could have been several other options and/or ways to handle this.
Keep yourself busy if that is what helps you, I’m glad you have a lot of activities to choose from . . . just remember to get some rest also.
Hugs,
Wendy
Hey YuYu,
One step at a time, I do not how California is but in Illinois you have a great case for unemployment and perhaps wrongful termination. I would call a lawyer in the morning and get expert advise.
Now for the fear. That is a bit more tricky. You have read the blogs enough to know all of us get scared. We all worry about the “what if” factor of our disease. And just as varied as we are as a group, so are our methods of coping.
1. We pray
2. We cry
3. We blog
4. We find something to keep us busy living
5. We ride horses and bikes and motorcycles
6. We help others cope
7. We get up every single morning with one goal,
getting up the next morning.
The list is endless. Some days we do this well and others we fail and the “what if” monster takes over and we are helpless for a time. When that happens we crawl here and cry out and before long we find people who are where we are and understand and care for us.
I have yet to come here and release my fears and not “feel” all of you listening and caring. I pray you “feel” the love that is here for you.
Cancer is scary, but fear cannot survive love and this is a place where that truth is lived out, day after day after day. As we survive and care for each other, we prove cancer to be the coward it is and slowly we take it’s power to rob us of our joy.
If talking would help, e-mail me at rigidridr@yahoo.com and I will send you a number.
With all the care and love we can run through the internet, we are here to hold you until you are not scared…
praying for you
Mac
Yuyu,
In some strange way you know that that organization is a mess! We both know that ;-) lol…and if it makes you feel better, technically you were “let go” not fired so dont worry, you dont ever have to say you got fired :-) It is sooooooo cruel that they did that. Its so heartless! But you will get past it—things always work out one way or another. Through all my struggles I’ve come to realize that stupid saying is true.
And P.S: after I finish getting through some of this dissertation stuff we should get together for some coffee….we BOTH need to get out of the house…
Yuyu,
Does the State of California have good unemployment benefits? Also, I would bet the state has great employee protection acts. I know you do not feel like fighting but I would enlist help or try those avenues. I am sure any attorney would like to take on a big company for contingency.
Next, I have more fears now that I am recovered than when I was going through treatment. It is really difficult to get your mind right. I battle it daily. Am I going to be able to pay the bills? How do I stay cancer free? Will my husband always be a jerk? Maybe he will stay in Iran. Anyway, try not to let the fear control your life. Your parents are strong and you will survive this illness. You have a great support system. Try to focus on the positive.
I am sending you positive energy to keep fighting.
Melissa
Wendy, if I am not in the condition battling with cancer, I would definitely go for some legal actions! I am devastated although I know this could happen. I thought at least they will give me a courtesy so that I have options of going flex schedule (e.g. part time) or resign than firing me without letting me know.
You’re right about having enough rest is also important. I tend to push myself a little too hard sometimes.
Yuyu
Mac,
I just love your wisdoms and knowledge (+ sense of hurmor, of course)! Coping with fears is something everyone here are dealing with. But, everyone seems to master and acuire their own system of not letting their fears and worries overwhelm so much. I am still struglling with finding something that works for me. I often sit here and let my fears take over me. I like what you put on #7, that may work for me, to take one day at a time. Blogging here definitely is helping as I write here while my emotion boils up. I am so amazed of how much support and love I receive. Thanks.
Yuyu
Hey, Annonyomous (I’m sure it is Miss. S!). Thank you for your encouragement. You’re right, I always knew how messed up that organization is, but I twas really hoping this time they don’t disspoint me. I thought they will let me stay as they fear of their reputation being damaged. They even said they consulted with their attorney and came up with the decision. I don’t know how smart this attorney is, but they are realy taking chances here because American Disability Act does discourage employers from firing people with disabilities (i.e. cancer) when they ask for medical leave as accomodations to their disabiltiies. So, who knows where this goes. I may pursue them leagally as my energy permits. I hope your dissertation is going well, and we do coffee sometimes soon!
Yuyu
Melissa,
I often hear people say hearing “you have cancer” is scary, but hearing “your cancer is back” is frightening. I think I can see that. I am also already worrying about how it will be after this treatment and surgery and if cancer remains or comes back after the first battle. I am definitely thinking way ahead. I should take one day at a time.
I am feeling that I should advocate myself and try to see if I can get any legal assistance in my job situation. My friends even suggested contacting local tv news stations! It seems a little radical, but I am considering possible options.
Yuyu
Hi Yuyu, dear sweet Yuyu
Did you request the leave of absence in writing? If not, that is probably why the lawyer approved of firing you. You have no written record and therefore, in their eyes, you can’t prove you asked for a leave of absence. I do hope it was in writing or it’s your word against whoever you did ask orally. And people will lie and you can see that in the fact that they fired you. They could have laid you off.
Unfortunately, I don’t think you can get unemployment benefits unless you are able to work. I know that is the law here in Washington State. So, if you asked for a leave of absence due to sickness, you are technically not able to work full time and not eligible—unless they have changed the law since I was unemployed.
If you did ask for a leave of absence in writing, I would consider appealing their decision if that is possible and if it is, I believe you might have 30 days in which to do so. I’d check this out if you feel up to it.
I know from my chemotherapy that there are days when I can get up only to go to the potty and then lie back down all the darn day & night. So, I understand the weakness.
You have valid concerns regarding your future and they are all the things I have considered. Faith and prayer and the love of my family and now this Blog give me a lift and I KNOW this cancer will not be fatal—at least at this time. If it comes back, I don’t know, but I have no control over that. I must start living one day at a time. See my latest blog of last night re One Day at a Time.
Much love and prayers and hugs to you. And thank you for responding to my prior blog.
Ethel Craven-Sweet better known as sweete2
Ethel,
I think you’re absolutely right about not giving a notice in writing. Stupid me, I didn’t give them a written letter! I told my supevisor if there is any possiblity if I can go on a leave, and she said she will take care of it and request it from HR. I trusted her and I didn’t turn in any official letter. I should have…. I am so naive.
Living one day at a time, I am trying to remind myself of that when I find myself ovewhelmed.
Yuyu
Oh, no, Yuyu! I’m so sorry this happened to you! I had a sense from an earlier post of yours that you thought this might happen. How awful! I know you are too tired to deal with this, but can you find a friend who might be willing to help you pursue your legal rights in this situation? I found a little bit of info here: http://law.justanswer.com/questions/173mi-cancer-patient-fired. If you have a friend who’s willing and able to help, this is a great thing for him or her to do for you. You will probably have to sign something to give your helper authority to talk with lawyers about your case, then he or she can get to work on your behalf.
Take care of yourself. It sounds like support groups and getting out for walks is a good thing for you. Do what your body and mind need. And remember to rest!
This employment issue will work itself out. An employer that would do this to you may not be the best place for you anyway. Get through the treatments, then deal with the rest later!
Peace,
Kathy
That is just so outrageous. They wouldn’t grant you enough time to finish your cancer treatment?!
I also live in California. I went on FMLA after my diagnosis. The Family Leave Act protects your job during a serious medical condition or if you are the caretaker of an ill family member. I do think you have to be employed 12 months and have worked so many hours in that year to qualify though.
I work for the State of California, so they pretty much have to play by the rules. I am hoping to return to work within the next couple weeks, pending the results of my CT scan, of course.
Sending you a great big hug!
Monica
I think you should hit the local news station about were you worked They should of never fired you…. hit where it hurts.. Like you said they should of let YOU quit. Fear is part of this whole process we all feel it each time we have to go though test to see if the cancer is gone or has spread. Take each day as a new day and enjoy the moment.
Take care
Cheryl
Dear YuYu; The previous posts have a lot of information that is valuable, loving and important. As a Canadian, I can only say this… even if you don’t believe that we as a Canadian nation fight; We do! You have integrity facts of your health condition and A GOOD LAWYER are on your side. No matter what you decide to do, you will feel a lot better if you get legal advice for FREE. In Canda, you always get the first interview FREE. Atleast get that much if you can muster the energy. Second, about WORRY. Here is a saying I just heard the other day from a very elderly (103 yrs.) person… WORRY IS INTEREST PAID ON TROUBLE THAT’S NOT DUE! Very easy to read and not so easy to abide by. The fact that the company fired you is enough to take a real look at the situation. You were telling the truth about your health, knowing that it could put you in jeporady, but you did it…. Your manager used this information against you, to assist her manager in deciding what to do. I think you have a very good case, if you can fight cancer you can fight this organization, as an injustice; particularly given their own agenda.
You are one strong girl, and we want you to try to fight this as long as you don’t jeapordize your health while doing it. Consider it a small project, but just one of many.
My dear I am so sorry for all of the corporate jungle falling your way, but I now know you found us and we found you. They can go to h—l but you know we are here for you at all times.
Love Weezie
Dear Yuyu,
First of all, it goes without saying I feel your devastation upon this cruel act on a non-for- profit-agency. Hah! But, don’t beat yourself up over the fact you didn’t put it in writing, we all have to learn this as we go. This is indeed a work in progress. But, and this is a very personal choice but I agree with the thought that I would take this a few steps further, by first going to the media. Absolutely, let the public know that as you are battling cancer and asking for a LOA they “let you go”. I would think this agency would run with it’s tail between it’s legs.Shame on them! Then, you really need to protect yourself and what YOU need, financial, unemployment, insurancem, etc. There is also financial aid or if you do go to the media, I am sure if the right attorney hear your story they would easily take your case as a, “Pro Bono” ( Free of Charge)
I am very anxious to know how you are doing, and if there is anything that I can do though I am in Illinois, feel free to e-mail me at anytime @ Bhappy4ever6@aol.com.
But, first you take care of Yuyu and Mercedes.
Be Well, Patty
Hi Yuyu:
I’m not sure if this is how you reply, but I’ll give it a try. You had asked on my last blog what type of chemo I was on. It was epirubicin, fluorouracil, taxol and cytoxan. I believe I had four rounds of the cytoxan mix. Then I had 12 rounds of the taxol and herceptin. I have to have the herceptin immune therapy for one full year and I only have two more rounds of it. I will be on Arimidex for five years. Hope that answers your question. I enjoy reading your blogs and hope for the best for you with that bad work experience. Yes, cancer patients do have rights.
Enjoy!